Fun With Insomnia Blog

Historical Humour For 4th July

Some Amusing, Funny and Thought Provoking Quotations of Benjamin Franklin 󞥙-1790]
In the great tradition of American humour, the title of “First American Humorist” rightfully belongs to Benjamin Franklin. He was the beginning of a long line of writers who created a uniquely American form of humour filled with clever wit, folksy wisdom, and a generous portion of irreverence.

In his Poor Richard’s Almanac, Franklin wrote many clever sayings which are still part of our cultural heritage today. At 26, Franklin published the first edition of Poor Richard’s Almanac under the pseudonym Richard Saunders.

Remember that time is money.
A little neglect may breed mischief: for want of a nail, the shoe was lost; for want of a shoe the horse was lost; and for want of a horse the rider was lost.
A penny saved is a penny earned.
Any fool can criticise, condemn and complain and most fools do.
Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.
Fish and visitors smell in three days.
Genius without education is like silver in the mine.
God helps them that help themselves.
Haste makes waste.
Hide not your talents. They for use were made. What’s a sundial in the shade?
It is hard for an empty bag to stand upright.
Little strokes fell great oaks.
Never leave that till to-morrow which you can do to-day.
Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
Well done is better than well said.
In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.
There never was a good war nor a bad peace.
Never contradict anybody.
Ben Franklin experts question whether, in fact, he wrote all his humorous lines. Some believe he researched them and revamped them into his own inimitable style. Whatever the truth Will and Guy are certain that they are witty.

Above cartoon by Jeff Parker

Ben Franklin Tells Us How To Be Seen As A Person With A Brain And A Social Wit

Dr Benjamin Franklin was not really a doctor; his title Doctor was one of those first honorariums given a man of great achievement and reflects the impact he had on his age.

Here are seven ways Benjamin Franklin would suggest you consider to be seen as one with a brain and a social wit.

Elevate, not desecrate. Never use cutting humour, dissect theirs.
Keep your humour light, fun, open to participation.
Reflect your humour to show you row your own boat.
You row merrily, and you attract others to you.
As you deflect bitterness, fear, answers appear.
Your summary encapsulates the situation and hints that the best way out may be to back up to where we went wrong, once we all clearly agree what that was.
Elevate, even exaggerate, achievement. Mock an obvious folly but with a twist. If attacked, return their volley as a mirror.
Will and Guy’s Selection of Five of the Best and Their Favourite Quotations

Where there’s marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.
Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both.
They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
Be civil to all; sociable to many; familiar with few; friend to one; enemy to none.
Some are weather-wise, some are otherwise.
Benjamin Franklin is held in high esteem in the USA as is indicated by his appearance on the largest note: $100 bill.

(Updates with witness statements in sixth paragraph.)
By Laurel Brubaker Calkins
June 30 (Bloomberg) — BP Plc’s “controlled burns” in the Gulf of Mexico are killing endangered sea turtles trapped inside the booms the company uses to collect spilled oil, wildlife activists said in a lawsuit.
London-based BP, which is struggling to control the largest spill in U.S. history, should be forced to stop the burns or ensure no turtles are caught inside the floating “corralsâ€� before the oil is ignited, the environmentalists said in the suit. BP’s killing of the turtles constitutes an illegal “taking” of an endangered species under environmental laws, they claim.
The plaintiffs seek a temporary order restraining BP from any activities in the Gulf of Mexico that could risk killing or injuring endangered and threatened sea turtles, William Eubanks and Jason Burge, lawyers for the environmentalists, said in papers filed in New Orleans federal court today.
The case was reassigned late today to U.S. District Judge Carl Barbier, who set a hearing on the request for July 2. Barbier already presides over 35 lawsuits claiming spill-related damages by fishing industry workers, property owners, tourism businesses and other environmental groups.
Leatherneck, Loggerhead
“BP has already killed or otherwise harmed” hundreds of rare Kemp’s Ridley, Leatherback, Loggerhead and other species of endangered sea turtles through its use of controlled burns or as a result of contamination from the oil spill itself,” the lawsuit claims. The animals become trapped when shrimp boats encircle patches of floating oil with fire-resistant booms to create “burn boxes�� 60 to 100 feet in diameter, they said.
In affidavits filed with the lawsuit, boat captains and turtle rescue workers say that in recent weeks they’ve saved numerous sea turtles that were trapped in heavy oil-sludge lines offshore, many from the same areas where trawlers are corralling sludge for controlled burns. The turtles are too heavily oiled to free themselves from the sludge and swim to safety, although out of the oil they respond well to rehabilitation, the witnesses said.
“Although I assume that such acts are an unintentional consequence of BP’s controlled burning strategy, I expect that these incidental burnings are almost certainly occurring based on my personal observations,� said Kevin Aderhold, a Louisiana charter boat captain involved in the sea turtle rescue effort.
BP spokesman Tony Odone said the company had no comment on pending litigation.
BP has yet to contain a damaged underwater well that has been spewing as much as 60,000 barrels of crude oil daily off the Louisiana coast since the Deepwater Horizon drilling rig burned and sank in April.
BP, as owner of the lease, has primary responsibility for cleaning up the oil and is the only defendant in the turtle case.
The case is Animal Welfare Institute v. BP America Inc. et al, 2:10-cv-01866, U.S. District Courts, Southern District of Louisiana (New Orleans).
–With assistance from Leslie Snadowsky in New Orleans. Editors: Fred Strasser, Glenn Holdcraft To contact the reporter responsible for this story: Laurel Brubaker Calkins in Houston at laurel@calkins.us.com.
To contact the editor responsible for this story: David Rovella in New York at drovella@bloomberg.net.

I struggled a bit to find a humorous anecdote about a Father and his Son that remided me, justly, of mine. The following rung the bell in quite the right tone, I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Letters between son and dad
Dear Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love,
Your $on

The Reply:
Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Dad

Happy Father’s Day to all you dads out there.