Fun With Insomnia Blog

Historical Humour For 4th July

Some Amusing, Funny and Thought Provoking Quotations of Benjamin Franklin [1705-1790]
In the great tradition of American humour, the title of “First American Humorist” rightfully belongs to Benjamin Franklin. He was the beginning of a long line of writers who created a uniquely American form of humour filled with clever wit, folksy wisdom, and a generous portion of irreverence.

In his Poor Richard’s Almanac, Franklin wrote many clever sayings which are still part of our cultural heritage today. At 26, Franklin published the first edition of Poor Richard’s Almanac under the pseudonym Richard Saunders.

Remember that time is money.
A little neglect may breed mischief: for want of a nail, the shoe was lost; for want of a shoe the horse was lost; and for want of a horse the rider was lost.
A penny saved is a penny earned.
Any fool can criticise, condemn and complain and most fools do.
Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.
Fish and visitors smell in three days.
Genius without education is like silver in the mine.
God helps them that help themselves.
Haste makes waste.
Hide not your talents. They for use were made. What’s a sundial in the shade?
It is hard for an empty bag to stand upright.
Little strokes fell great oaks.
Never leave that till to-morrow which you can do to-day.
Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
Well done is better than well said.
In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.
There never was a good war nor a bad peace.
Never contradict anybody.
Ben Franklin experts question whether, in fact, he wrote all his humorous lines. Some believe he researched them and revamped them into his own inimitable style. Whatever the truth Will and Guy are certain that they are witty.

Above cartoon by Jeff Parker

Ben Franklin Tells Us How To Be Seen As A Person With A Brain And A Social Wit

Dr Benjamin Franklin was not really a doctor; his title Doctor was one of those first honorariums given a man of great achievement and reflects the impact he had on his age.

Here are seven ways Benjamin Franklin would suggest you consider to be seen as one with a brain and a social wit.

Elevate, not desecrate. Never use cutting humour, dissect theirs.
Keep your humour light, fun, open to participation.
Reflect your humour to show you row your own boat.
You row merrily, and you attract others to you.
As you deflect bitterness, fear, answers appear.
Your summary encapsulates the situation and hints that the best way out may be to back up to where we went wrong, once we all clearly agree what that was.
Elevate, even exaggerate, achievement. Mock an obvious folly but with a twist. If attacked, return their volley as a mirror.
Will and Guy’s Selection of Five of the Best and Their Favourite Quotations

Where there’s marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.
Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both.
They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
Be civil to all; sociable to many; familiar with few; friend to one; enemy to none.
Some are weather-wise, some are otherwise.
Benjamin Franklin is held in high esteem in the USA as is indicated by his appearance on the largest note: $100 bill.

(Updates with witness statements in sixth paragraph.)
By Laurel Brubaker Calkins
June 30 (Bloomberg) — BP Plc’s “controlled burns” in the Gulf of Mexico are killing endangered sea turtles trapped inside the booms the company uses to collect spilled oil, wildlife activists said in a lawsuit.
London-based BP, which is struggling to control the largest spill in U.S. history, should be forced to stop the burns or ensure no turtles are caught inside the floating “corrals” before the oil is ignited, the environmentalists said in the suit. BP’s killing of the turtles constitutes an illegal “taking” of an endangered species under environmental laws, they claim.
The plaintiffs seek a temporary order restraining BP from any activities in the Gulf of Mexico that could risk killing or injuring endangered and threatened sea turtles, William Eubanks and Jason Burge, lawyers for the environmentalists, said in papers filed in New Orleans federal court today.
The case was reassigned late today to U.S. District Judge Carl Barbier, who set a hearing on the request for July 2. Barbier already presides over 35 lawsuits claiming spill-related damages by fishing industry workers, property owners, tourism businesses and other environmental groups.
Leatherneck, Loggerhead
“BP has already killed or otherwise harmed” hundreds of rare Kemp’s Ridley, Leatherback, Loggerhead and other species of endangered sea turtles through its use of controlled burns or as a result of contamination from the oil spill itself,” the lawsuit claims. The animals become trapped when shrimp boats encircle patches of floating oil with fire-resistant booms to create “burn boxes” 60 to 100 feet in diameter, they said.
In affidavits filed with the lawsuit, boat captains and turtle rescue workers say that in recent weeks they’ve saved numerous sea turtles that were trapped in heavy oil-sludge lines offshore, many from the same areas where trawlers are corralling sludge for controlled burns. The turtles are too heavily oiled to free themselves from the sludge and swim to safety, although out of the oil they respond well to rehabilitation, the witnesses said.
“Although I assume that such acts are an unintentional consequence of BP’s controlled burning strategy, I expect that these incidental burnings are almost certainly occurring based on my personal observations,” said Kevin Aderhold, a Louisiana charter boat captain involved in the sea turtle rescue effort.
BP spokesman Tony Odone said the company had no comment on pending litigation.
BP has yet to contain a damaged underwater well that has been spewing as much as 60,000 barrels of crude oil daily off the Louisiana coast since the Deepwater Horizon drilling rig burned and sank in April.
BP, as owner of the lease, has primary responsibility for cleaning up the oil and is the only defendant in the turtle case.
The case is Animal Welfare Institute v. BP America Inc. et al, 2:10-cv-01866, U.S. District Courts, Southern District of Louisiana (New Orleans).
–With assistance from Leslie Snadowsky in New Orleans. Editors: Fred Strasser, Glenn Holdcraft To contact the reporter responsible for this story: Laurel Brubaker Calkins in Houston at laurel@calkins.us.com.
To contact the editor responsible for this story: David Rovella in New York at drovella@bloomberg.net.

Julia can’t mention the terminal measure she slept. So arrival residence from a late-night show, she can’t escape waking up her lover and begging him to watch receiver. If he won’t recreation Feel, then how around Indication?

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One caucasian’s status is the pump and laughable spirit of “A Sleeping Region,” a Chicago first for Northville’s Tipping Tip Building. That Julia is barely drawn by author Melanie Marnich doesn’t restraint pass actress Sarab Kamoo from keeping us completely on her side as she struggles to accomplish a slight shut-eye.

Marnich, now a writer on HBO’s “Big Bed,” charts New Yorker Julia’s attempts at cater, prototypic with person and specialist Midge (Andrea Boswell-Burns), who prescribes a smaller mount of drugs for her. Julia figures that if all else fails, she can penalize herself and rest forever.

But firstly she decides to achieve a activate to Metropolis to jibe Isabella Orsini (Connie Sawbones), a fella watchful and conceivable soul she discovers on the Internet. What exactly this accomplishes is not always sunny, tho’ it does cue a welcome move of set and the quantity for Ballplayer T. Carver, previously remove as uncomplaining beau Greg, to choose a dyad of kooky adult roles.

Prime up is leal, gray-haired worker General, who caters to Isabella’s round-the-clock whims. When Julia asks when he sleeps, Isabella doesn’t avoid a nonconformist: “On Mondays.” The ordinal enactment, Carlo, finds Sculptor departed unbroken with machismo, using his wooly fat to wild laughable gist.

The statesman Carver goes over the top, the turn. Time he provides the impart with its greatest laughs, Kamoo delivers its few moving notes in a closing that speaks of acceptance as such as cures. This comes after the indelible comical person of her Julia hunched over a spoonful of candy-colored pills equal a kid tackling a trough of Froot Loops.

The action’s termination may be the cagiest split of “A Unerect Land,” the gear creation in an all-comedy mollify at Tipping Characteristic. Following Julia in her frenetic hunting for comfortableness and its bittersweet denouement can be as evacuant as it is shady.

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Parents and children alike are often captivated with Outer Space. Hollywood has made much of the enigma which gives the children even more of an active imagination. There are many fascinating possibilities and having these discourses with your children often brings intellectual conversations, and more importantly, memory building bonding moments. Share the enigma of the night sky with your children.

The theories of UFO’s become more popular year after year. Some people use their science-fiction minds to place them as alien-beings visiting from space. Some people use their politically charged minds and see them as secret government experimentations, either from the U.S. or rival countries spying on us. But when did this craze start? And what might these strange objects really be?

There have been cave drawings of UFO’s since 47,000 BC. These drawings from the cavemen are found all-round the Earth. Even the Old Testament of the Bible says that Ezekiel saw a burning chariot in the sky. Leonardo Da Vinci described seeing a unidentified flying object in the sky and incorporated it in a few of his paintings.

But it wasn’t until 1947 that the ‘flying saucer’ theory and the current craze came into play. On June 14th, pilot Kenneth Arnold spotted 9 circular shaped flying objects near Mt. Rainer. He reported he opened his window from his airplane, in case it was just a reflection, and the objects were still there, moving at a remarkable speed. He said it had no tail and was as flat as a pie pan. After reporting this, overwhelming reports of UFO’s began. Thus, the craze and the theories of what these things are became born. The government disregarded Kenneth Arnold’s experience as a mirage.

So, aside from the popular extraterrestrial theories, what can these phenomenons actually be?

There is a theory being studied and close to being proven of balls of lightening. The theory is that instead of lightning coming to the ground, it can sometimes bundle into a ball. And instead of it being a flash like most lightening, this ball floats and maneuvers a little before disappearing. This can also easily be mistaken for an object in the sky, especially since most UFO reports claim them as being bright and glowing.

Another fascinating theory is bugs! Insects can absorb natural bioluminescence from certain types of fungi. When insects travel in a heard or bundle together, it can give off a glowing, floating and strange appearance. Some species of owls also have a natural bioluminescence that can give a similar appearance. Witnessing this can easily be mistaken for something mysterious in the sky.

Also, natural gases from the ground can cause balls of light in the sky. Certain spots, especially near mountains, contain a mixture of elements that can cause strange lights. Depending on where you are standing, this can look like a floating light, like the Marfa lights in Texas.

There are several of scientific and meteorological explanations for these UFO phenomenon, but let’s face it, they’re just not as entertaining! Imagine all the weird theories people had about lightening before science proved what it really is. And, no one really wants to watch movies about how gases made the UFO’s, its cooler to see alien invasions that give you a little rush of excitement.

Until such time as science can prove anything, keep your mind open to explanations because we still don’t know what they are…. They could very well just be little green men!

National Geographic has announced that the recent claims constructed by a duo of hunters in GA have proved to be nothing more than a “bold face fraud”.

In short, the hunters, Matt Whitton and Rick Dyer claimed to have discovered a 230-kg Bigfoot cadaver that they were holding on ice, and talked about their find in CA last Friday with “contentious” Sasquatch hunter Tom Biscardi. At the news conference, the threesome displayed photos of their supposed breakthrough and claimed to have DNA evidence to confirm their claim.

A biologist at the University of Minnesota, Curt Nelson, examined the DNA, and determined it to be a combination of human and opposum. Nelson assured National Geographic that the “suggestion was that the tissue sample was from the bowel of the creature, and that the creature had consumed a possum. That seems unlikely to me.”

President of the Bigfoot Field Investigators Organization, Matthew Moneymaker, stated to National Geographic that the news conference was a “profiteering scam” assembled by Biscardi:

They recognise there’s fantastic interest in seeing photos of [Bigfoot], and they are attempting to get people to pay to see hoaxed pics. There’s been at the least a 1000 accounts in papers across the globe. Prior to this, the highest record was around 200 articles in newspapers.

Of Biscardi, Moneymaker says: “Now he’s genuinely a famous con artist. He was a con artist recognised in Bigfoot circles for a long time, and now it will not be long before everyone knows it.”

Of the Bigfoot cadaver, however, Biscardi remains adamant: “I want to get to the bottom of it. What I seen, what I touched, what I felt, and what I prodded wasn’t a masque that was sewn on a bear pelt, OK?”

In the meantime, the world still awaits for National Geographic to bring clarity to a few other recent monster claims.

The Possible Causes of Chronic Insomnia
By Sarah Walker with commentary by the site admin

Chronic insomnia is a complex medical condition, often resulting from a number of factors. Underlying mental or physical disorders can trigger chronic insomnia. <— I’m going to try and have some fun with you here Sarah but you may be too educated for me to poke too many wholes in your logic if the rest of this article follows this level of logic and writing…. Please don’t misunderstand, we know there are a few good medical professionals and researchers out there.

Depression most commonly causes chronic insomnia. <— yeah but being sad is not a disease let’s not forget.

Other mental disorders like chronic anxiety and bipolar (manic) depression also cause chronic insomnia. It has been found that about 70% of people diagnosed with depression experience insomnia. Depressed people tend to have abnormal levels of stress hormones. These abnormalities can impair sleep. It should be noted, though, that emotional/mental problems can be caused by insomnia, which is why it can be difficult to determine if the insomnia triggered the emotional/mental problem or the emotional/mental problem triggered the insomnia. <— At least she admits it, they still don’t know WTF they are talking about.

Arthritis, allergies, heart failure, hypertension, kidney disease, sleep apnea, asthma, restless legs syndrome, narcolepsy, hyperthyroidism, Alzheimer’s disease, ADHD and Parkinson’s disease have also been found to be the underlying causes of chronic insomnia. <— people who are in pain don’t sleep well, glad my taxes are being used to fund this genius research.

However, physical and mental disorders are not the only things that may cause chronic insomnia. Behavioral factors such as addiction to caffeine, alcohol and other substances, disrupted sleep/wake cycles and chronic stress can cause chronic insomnia. <— lol, eat a lot of speed and jack with your metabolism and you may not rest well either… sheesh why didn’t I think of that.

In women, hormone fluctuations can significantly impair sleep. It is known that progesterone aids in sleeping. During menstruation, progesterone levels go down, causing insomnia. During ovulation, progesterone levels go up, causing sleepiness. During the first and third trimester, pregnant women will experience abnormal drops and rises in progesterone levels, resulting to disrupted sleep patterns, which can eventually develop into chronic insomnia. <— women are nutz, always have been, check. (Sorry ladies, but even you have to admit those hormones are vicious.)

Women who are in the first phase of their menopause can also develop chronic insomnia because the the extreme fluctuations in hormone levels. The common symptoms of menopause are hot flashes, anxiety and sweating, and these frequently occur at night during sleep. Women who are in the menopausal stage may also be experiencing psychological distress, triggering insomnia.

As we age, surges of growth hormone (a substance associated with sleep) become blunted. Levels of major stress hormone, cortisol, have been observed to increase in older people in some studies, but results are not yet conclusive. Levels of melatonin, a hormone that is produced by the pineal gland and is linked with sleep, are found to not decrease as a person gets older.

Children whose bedtime schedules are not being regulated by parents tend to develop mild or occasional insomnia. However, a child’s temperament has been found to be directly linked to serious sleep disturbances and insomnia. For instance, children who were intense, high-strung and easily upset were found to have sleep problems than children who do not have such temperament. However, the study did not test if the traits could have been triggered by problems in the home (e.g., parental depression or marital discord).

Sarah Walker is a health and fitness enthusiast. She currently runs a website helping people with Insomnia. To find out more information and help, go to http://insomniasymptoms.org

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Sarah_Walker

Chronic Insomnia Treatment – How Cognitive Behavior Techniques (CBT) Worked For Me
By Nick Robinson Platinum Quality Author and commentary by the site admin.

For over 10 years I suffered with chronic insomnia. And I do mean suffered. <--- Quick someone call the whaaaaambulance.

My persistent sleeplessness had a disastrous effect on virtually every aspect of my life. Life is hard enough as it is, but trying to make it through each day on little if any sleep is like dragging a 200-pound block of cement behind you all day. <--- yes it is, but its been part of that "hard" life for very long time. Generally there's usually a good reason for these things we tend to whine so much about.

Chronic insomnia (or long-term insomnia or hyper-insomnia as it is sometimes called) is nearly relentless sleeplessness that can last indefinitely, even for one's entire life, if no effectual treatment is received.

Chronic insomnia grows out of short-term insomnia and is mainly caused and perpetuated by unfounded, negative thoughts and self-defeating behaviors associated with sleep.

Road To Recovery

I started on the road to recover when I realized that the "secret" to beating insomnia is to be analytical in one's approach toward it. For many years, I was merely emotional about my sleeplessness, and this helped to cause the problem to spiral further out of control. <--- and this dude calls himself a man? Reason good, yes.......

Being analytical toward my sleeplessness prompted me, over many years and much trial and error, to develop a systematic solution that basically cured me of insomnia.

Cognitive-behavioral Solution

My solution is mostly based on cognitive and behavioral techniques.

By cognitive, I mean that I taught myself the proper, rational way to think about and evaluate sleep. For example, I worked to eliminate such negative thoughts as "I know I will sleep poorly tonight." These kinds of thoughts invariably result in a self-fulfilling prophecy.

By behavioral, I mean that I eventually stopped acting in ways that perpetuated and fed the insomnia. For instance, instead of avoiding being active because I was tired, I would act as if I were not too tired. Being active helped to wear me out which would result in better sleep. In addition, being active sent the message to my subconscious that I was not someone crippled with sleeplessness, but that I was normal. Such a message would help to reduce the anxiety I felt at bedtime. <--- (eyes rolling around in my head like spinners) does this stuff really need explanation?

Chronic insomnia can be very difficult to overcome. Don't give up hope, however, if you suffer with it. If you work hard and put forth plenty of thought, action, and perseverance, you can rid yourself of it. I'm living testimony to that. <--- golf clap, you pulled your head out of your ass.

For information on the techniques I used to overcome chronic insomnia, visit Chronic Insomnia Treatment or Sleep Better. The information is free.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nick_Robinson

Some of the Effects of Insomnia
By Jeff Farley

The effect of insomnia really depends on the person who is afflicted with the condition, because different people need different amounts of sleep. So we should view the optimal amount of sleep not by the quantity of hours you get, but by the quality of the sleep.

When you are suffering from insomnia, you are suffering both when you are awake and when you are asleep. During the night hours, you wake up much earlier than you want to. You have all kinds of trouble getting to sleep at night, and when you do finally fall asleep, you can’t stay asleep. Because of all this, when you are actually awake, you are fatigued, drowsy, you suffer from irritability and you have all kinds of problems concentrating. The effect of insomnia can be great not only on you, but for your family, the people you work with, and your friends.

The biggest side effect of insomnia deals with your overall health, both physically and mentally. Not getting enough sleep can be especially bad for your heart. Side effects of insomnia can last for just a short time, or they can last for days, weeks or even months.

In order to fight insomnia, you need to find out what is causing your sleepless nights, and then develop some new sleep habits. Try to put any stressful thoughts out of your mind before your head hits the pillow. Also, consider a new mattress. You’d be surprised at what a difference that alone can make.

The effect of insomnia can make your life miserable, but it doesn’t have to. For a natural cure, read Jeff Farley’s ebook Stop Insomnia by clicking here

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jeff_Farley

Milton Sprouse Says the Roswell Object Came From Out of This World
By Bill Knell Platinum Quality Author

Like most UFO incidents denied by the U.S. Government, the 1947 Roswell crash refuses to go away quietly. Each time a government spokesperson invents a new explanation to contradict the theory that an alien spacecraft crashed near Roswell, one or more new witnesses come forward to support the original Air Force statement. That statement called the object a ‘flying disc’ and left us with the impression that the occupants weren’t quite human.

Milton Sprouse, age eighty-five, lives in Escondido, California. In 1947, he was an engine mechanic and part of the 393rd Bomb Group connected to the 509th Composite Group at Roswell. Milton arrived in Roswell during 1945 after serving on the Pacific Island of Tinian towards the end of World War Two. When the aircraft he was servicing was moved to Roswell, he was sent there as well.

As the lead mechanic for Dave’s Dream, he didn’t find the area especially exciting. “There was nothing there but tumbleweeds blowing for miles,” Sprouse said in a recent interview. All that changed in July of 1947. After returning from a brief trip to Florida aboard Dave’s Dream, Milton found himself thrust into a hurricane of activity. Back at the base on the day when the original ‘flying disc’ statement was released, he remembered how hundreds of men from the base were sent out to the crash site to pick up all the debris they could find.

Milton was needed at the base because of his position as lead mechanic. However, five other members of his crew went to the crash site. After returning, they told Sprouse that what they saw looked “Out of this world.” They were describing the material which looked like aluminum foil, but refused to crumple and seemed almost indestructible. The same description was used by Major Jesse Marcel, the officer originally sent to investigate the crash scene. Although Sprouse knew Marcel, he wasn’t able to speak to him after the crash. Milton recalls, “I could never get close to him.”

Most of the men knew about the radar reflecting balloons and saw the material that the Air Force tried to pass off as what crashed in early July of 1947. It wasn’t the same. The radar balloons came down everywhere in those days and most everyone that lived in Roswell saw some at one time or another. What they saw at the crash site was something else, and the buzz around base wasn’t just about strange metallic material.

Milton said that he heard talk about odd bodies found out at the crash scene. One of the men from his barracks was an emergency room medic. He told Sprouse and others that “humanoid” bodies were brought in after the crash. The medic’s story gave him the impression that one or more of the creatures might have been alive because he said, “We don’t think the humanoid ate food.” Milton also remembers how everything changed the day after the original ‘flying disc’ statement was made.

Milton recalls, “The next day, it was published in the Roswell Daily Record, and that night, all the generals said the story was untrue.” He continued on to say that officers from the base were sent into town to collect all the copies of the press release and newspaper with the original ‘flying disc’ story in it that they could find. The medic was transferred elsewhere along with the doctors and nurses that saw the odd-looking creatures. What became of the humanoids? “They took the bodies to a hangar, and there were two guards at each door with machine guns,” Milton said. Sprouse was referring to Hangar 84.

Milton Spouse left the base in 1956 and says that the people serving there were still talking about the crash at the time. That was years after the rest of the world already accepted the first of several official explanations which indicated the object was a weather balloon with radar reflecting material attached. When he returns to Roswell for the annual 509th Reunions, Spouse says “The Roswell incident comes up every year, but there’s nothing really new.”

He may not be an eyewitness to the 1947 crash, but Milton Sprouse is like so many others that were on the base or in Roswell at that time. They simply do not believe the official explanations. That’s because people they worked with, knew and trusted with their lives told them the truth about what happened based on their own first-hand experiences. Even when skeptics spin that information to say that crash test dummies, children or bloated bodies were responsible for the humanoid body stories, the explanations just don’t seem to fit. As Spouse says, “You can believe what you want, I know it’s true.” Read more at http://www.ufoguy.com

Read more at http://www.UFOguy.com

Author: Bill Knell
Author’s Email: billknell@cox.net
Author’s Website: http://www.billknell.com
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